I feel like I'm in dance class right now
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
