Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
