Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
