Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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