She just used a chaser for red wine.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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