you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
PANTIES FOUND
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
