On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
