I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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