It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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