Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Randomize
