She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
