i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
