I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
