I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
