We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Bring me that man meat
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
