i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
