he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
