Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
