Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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