...so i touched it.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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