so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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