she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
