I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
