im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
