I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
