Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
