i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
