While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize