Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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