we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
