Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i love accidental penises.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
