He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize