Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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