I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
