She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
