I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
