I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize