We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
