just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
