Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
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