love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
