I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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