If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
i believe in u and ur pee
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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