I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
