if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
