i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
