Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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