dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
