it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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