we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Green mimosas i think yes
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
