naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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