I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
i out mim tonsoeep
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