i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize