This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
