i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
