I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
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