Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
