We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
this just has baby written all over it
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
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