this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
