Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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