dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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