So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
