The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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